Sadism is a uniquely fascinating psychology that extends far beyond the context of sexual fetishes And BDSM jokes. Ive decided to write a blog about this taboo topic, and the insight I have gained about it recently. This isn’t not just because I enjoy pushing the envelope (although I admittedly do) but because I believe sadism to be a profoundly important and deeply misunderstood tendency. It is a quality which can be found behind some of the most destructive actions on the planet, including torture, rape, murder, and school shootings, just to name a few.
Most of us would like to think we do not have much in common with individuals who commit these atrocities, but I would implore you to reconsider that assumption. Each person in existence is a reflection of our own consciousness, and the truth is that there can be nothing that exists outside of you. The internal is the external, and the external is the internal.
The teachings of Jesus confirm this, even as written in the Bible. The Christ implores us to love thy neighbor as thyself. He teaches us to honor the universal truth of Oneness, and his life as Jesus exemplified this teaching in action, as he regularly spent time with prostitutes, lepers, and criminals.
The phenomonon of sadism (defined loosely as a compulsion to cause others pain, and a feeling of relief or delight gained from that experience) occurs for one reason, and one reason only: a deep desire to be seen, met, and understood by another human soul in the reality of the pain they themselves have felt. And felt alone.
At its center, it is a drive to create empathy in a forced manner.
This only occurs when an individual feels as if there is no other way for another to see them in their pain without forcing them to experience it themselves.
I’m a person who has experienced abuse from several very sadistic individuals throughout my life. Needless to say, I haven’t necessarily been eager to see that this spirit of sadism is alive within my own consciousness. But I assure you, it is.
There are aspects of my consciousness who have been imprinted with the very same frequency of the individuals who abused me. They feel hatred and rage, and want to make others feel their pain.
I recently spent time in the perspective of one of these aspects of myself, who imagined burning down the high school I went to and watching people run screaming from the buildings. She showed me this gruesome scene, and took pleasure in it.
My Inner Sadist has a snarled upper lip, just like the schoolteacher who psychologically tortured me and sexually abused me when I was a child. Some might say this part of me could be considered an “entity,” to which I would reply that yes, it has a consciousness and an energetic signature that did not originate from me in this timeline. However, why would I disown what is clearly here to teach me? Besides, since I have identified with this consciousness so intimately, I must treat it as a part of me. Because it is.
I asked my Inner Sadist why she felt the need to burn down her school, and she said “it’s the only way they’re going to get it. It’s the only way they’re going to see what they’ve done to me.”
I’m quite fortunate at this point in my development to have many tools for the integration of my shadow parts available to me, and many people I know personally who are able and willing to help me do this work. In this particular instance, I asked my partner Antoine to sit with my sadistic inner “demon” in order to help me facilitate understanding and healing.
After talking for awhile, Antoine ingeniously invited both Lucifer and Jesus into the room to talk with my Inner Sadist, who begrudgingly agreed. They sat down immediately in front of me, Lucifer to the left, and Christ to the right.
My Inner Sadist instantly knew that Lucifer was able to understand her. There was an immediate kinship. In fact, his frequency was very similar to her own. Jesus, however, she had little interest in relating to at first.
She realized that she and Satan were the same, because Satan is simply the energy/awareness/illusion of separation. The consciousness of Lucifer is the consciousness of powerlessness, determinism (as descirbed by my teacher Teal Swan), and the experience of complete lack of choice or free will. This is the opposite frequency of the consciousness of The Christ.
Because of the painful experience of separation suffered by Lucifer, and the powerlessness he feels to do anything about that, Lucifer torments souls so that he won’t feel alone in his pain.
I saw him whipping and torturing souls in hell, creating an entire construct that would externalizations and validate his inner experience. This is so that he would not be alone in his torment, and can instead feel the relief of understanding and the end of isolation in his own perceptual reality.
Lucifer is each of our suppressed Sadist parts.
Each of us have parts of ourselves who want to torture and punish souls to rid ourselves of the pain by externalizing it. We want to create empathy by causing others to meet us in the vibration of our suffering.
We do this in myriad ways, small and large. We may not torture or kill people, but we may scream hateful words at our partner in the heat of an argument. We may unconsciously create situations which cause others to face their own pain, so that they will finally join us in our reality.
Even therapists and shadow workers often possess subconscious aspects of ourselves who find relief in taking others into their deepest shadows, so that we ourselves can be validated and understood. So that we ourselves can feel not so alone in our pain.
Christ, however, understands suffering deeply, but comes from a different perspective.
Eventually, my Inner Sadist became open to talking with Jesus. She said she knew he suffered too, but she didn’t understand why he forgave those who punished him and we’re responsible for his death. Why would he not want them to feel his pain, by doing to them what was done to him?
He explained that the people who tortured and killed him when he was incarnated on planet Earth possessed that same consciousness of Lucifer, and that of this part of me who embodies my Inner Sadist.
He understood this, and saw no separation between himself and those souls who crucified him, so he forgave them and loved them. They were merely fractals of the fabric of light we call God, who had forgotten who they were.
He said they just weren’t able to “feel their connection to the Father,“ a fact which brought him great sadness, and caused him to feel compassion, rather than bloodlust towards them.
Because Jesus could feel love and empathy from his connection to the divine, he didn’t express any sadistic tendencies or feelings as a result of the suffering he endured.
His connection to Source and the endless well of love holding him up through that experience, caring about him, seeing him, feeling his pain with him released him from the need to punish others so that they would meet that deep need for empathy and connection in the midst of his pain.
The compassion he had for this sadistic part of me was endless and light and beautiful. He approached her with an energy of envelopment in love. He energetically came towards her as though she was his own dear child who were crying out for help.
It was a very new experience for my Inner Sadist. A completely new vibration that she began to allow in. When it flooded her being, it felt like a shower of purity and Grace. Tears began to stream down her face.
My Inner Sadist started crying and said “I didn’t know God could feel my pain. I didn’t know He saw me. I didn’t know I wasn’t alone.”
Feeling that, and feeling the love and compassion of the Christ, the part integrated seamlessly into the rest of my consciousness, feeling held and satisfied.
Through this experience, many great pieces of wisdom were imparted to me. I learned that relating in a space of pain to someone else in a similar space of pain—while a valid need—is actually less important than genuine love, caring and understanding, no matter what the someone’s life experiences have been.
It can be very healing to seek out and meet with others who have similar wounds, compare scars, and sit together in the darkness, bemoaning the weight of the suffering they carry and have carried. I myself have partaken in so much healing through relating to others in our pain.
However, I learned through this experience that in order to actually shift this particular frequency of sadism, this new experience of being held in light and complete unconditional love was the vibration that needed to be introduced.
It is not necessary for someone else to experience your suffering in order for them to have the capacity to see you in it and hold you in it. What it does require is for others to understand that we are all fractals of the same great tapestry, and a willingness from them to reach a hand into the ”dark,” painful experiences of others, meeting them there with empathy and compassion.
As their descriptor suggests, Empaths have a great capacity for this type of empathy. It is part of the reason why so many sensitives and empaths have been born in recent decades, and why many more continue to descend into earth bodies every day. This is the return of Christ Consciousness to our planet. This is the second coming.
Healers, this is my message to you.
We must sit with the perpetrators within us, and without us, and relate to both from a vibration of understanding and compassion. We must do so while holding a high frequency, cloaked by Mary Magdalene’s flame of the eternal heart womb. We must allow the consciousness of The Christ to hold our hands in the darkest of hours, so that we may hold the hands of our brothers and sisters. We must not disconnect from the Love that we are, and the love that is loving us, and has always loved us through every pain, every raw and bleeding wound, and every moment of our suffering.
Only then will the universal wound of separation be sutured. Only then will we all be free. And only when all are free, will we be truly free ourselves